Friday, April 03, 2009

All Angels Will Rise

As the passenger of our latest roadtrip, I note in my head all the graffiti I see on the freeway. I wonder how it got in some of the places so high up. One catches my eye, In bold black print " All Angels Will Rise" Im tired and the sun is going down. In the back, the kids all have there Ipods on, tuning Eliz and I out.
I see train tracks and a train covered with graffiti, and remember taking pictures late at night with Sam on the railroad tracks in North Indio. Even when the train was miles away coming towards us, it was so loud and the earth shook beneath us. It was powerful to say the least. It passes us, our hearts pounding, spot light blinding us, deafening high pitched rumble, wind blowing in our faces. Then silence. It was as if we survived an earthquake.
Elizabeth is concentrating on the road, I follow the train until its out of my sight. I imagine myself back on the train tracks of North Indio. Its late, its dusty, and I see him. I ask him if he remembers me. I know he's in a dark place. I know he's fallen on hard times. He has a bottle in his right hand. He doesnt want to talk. I ask him to sit with me, and he does. He offers me a drink, and we share whats left in the bottle. He lets me talk, I tell him about Sam, and I tell him how hard it is for Nick to grow up without him. I tell him all boys need there fathers. I ask him about his sons. He is proud of them, he feels guilty for not being there for them. He feels he cannot go back. I tell him nothing else matters. I know he doesnt believe me, but if I can just get him to trust me... I ask him if he remembers talking to me on the phone for hours when I was sobbing hysterically after James broke up with me. I tell him how he made me feel so much better. He had the right words, he was strong and he had such a big heart. I tell him I understand people who love so much hurt so much too. Its like you cant experience all the love without feeling all the pain, it goes hand in hand. But when you enter darkness, you eventually reach the point where you feel the happiness with equal intensity. They balance themselves out. I want to bring him out of his darkness. I want him to live...
Its getting late and Elizabeth is trying to find a station, and in my mind I cant help but reapeat All Angels Will Rise.


amy said...

beautiful Steph

steph said...

thank you, Im feeling very emo.

Eliz said...

Yes, beautiful.
I'll tell you what I was thinking...
At the start of my trip to Cali I asked for a sign (I am always doing that). I asked specifically that if things would go well with a certain person and me that I would find San Pedro while I was in California. I digress here, my mexican friend tells me a few weeks ago that in Mexico they hang San Pedro upside down and he brings them true love..she swears it works and says I have to get a San Pedro pronto..
So, I ask for this and then I forget. As we drove on the 10, right out of Santa Monica, the traffic is horrific and I look up and see a big green sign stating "SAN PEDRO ST next exit"
So as you saw Tom Walters, I was seeing love. and trying not to crash the car staring at the sign in amazement.
to be continued I guess.

steph said...

To San Pedro, (im toasting you with my water in a wine glass)