Saturday, April 25, 2009

There is a light that never goes out

Justin was an enormous part of my life growing up. I believe coming from similar back grounds, along with turbulent past experiences, led our jaded souls together with such strong force. Maybe it was to put a mirror in front each other, to learn, to evolve. We both spent the entire relationship battling egos, struggling to maintain sanity, and somehow live together cohesively. I can only describe that time in my life as the happiest and most destructive, all at the same time. I never experienced an addiction stronger than him. Today, we managed to remain friends. We can go years without speaking, and then when we do, its as if no time has passed us by. I am not the same person I was then, and he is not the same either. Time has changed us. Time has made us better people, and now when I see him with his family, I cant help but feel pure joy. Im proud. Im proud of the life he has built with his wife, Im am proud of the connection he has with his son, and Im so happy that throughout everything we went through we have ended up friends.

Last night Justin and Cassie needed a babysitter. Justin called me and seemed almost hesitant to ask me, but I was so excited to hang out with his little man, and hope he realizes it wasnt a burden. To be honest, I had so much fun. After they gave me a mini inservice on the remote controls, overnight diapers, phone and how to buzz people in, they snuck out. Jordan, who just turned 2, is the happiest, sweetest, smartest little man with the biggest smile I have ever seen. We played outside running around the lawn eating popcorn. We watched Elmo 4 times, (mainly because I couldnt figure out there remote control) and after about 15 minutes, he even let me hold him. Mom came over with Steveo and we all headed out to the backyard to watch him run around and sing. He came up to my mom and sat on her lap, I saw her eyes well up with tears. I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was so happy to see the life he has created for his family. She is just as proud of Justin and happy for him as I am.
So last night was wonderful, and put me in a good mood. I hope to spend more time with them. I hope they dont ever hesitate to ask me to babysit when they need a little mommy and daddy time.

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