Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year (365 days to live)

I have a year to live

So this is my new years resolution. I'm reading " A year to live" by Stephen Levine" I have only read his sons books (Noah Levine "Dharma Punx") and I'm really excited to dedicate a year to live as if it were my last. Its very easy to get caught up in so many things that don't really matter, I know I spend to much time and energy on holding grudges, not spending enough time with loved ones, not playing with my sons... Not living!!!! The most important role in my life is being a mother and letting my sons know how much I truly love them. I hope to spend more time living as much as possible and not sweating the small stuff. Now that I'm not working, this is the perfect time to start this project.
Step one: Preparing to die. Yay, Ive never been so excited to die in my life.
Happy New Year to everyone!!!!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Rose Ring

One of my earliest memories. I was 4, at Happyland Preschool in Mrs Abbots class.The weekend before, I picked out a ring from the Date Festival. It was the most valuable thing I owned. It was a beautiful rose, and my mom got me the smallest size available. Still, it was loose and often fell off my finger. My mom didn't want me to take it to school, she was afraid I would lose it. Well, she was right. I lost it, I panicked. I looked through the sand in the sand box, by the swings, I looked until we had to go inside. A few minutes later, I see it, on Kenneth Bowmans pinky. I told him it was mine and to give it back, he refused. He got punched in the stomach, he cried. Mrs Abbot, took the ring, then I cried. When my mom came to pick me up that day, Mrs Abbot told my mother about the ring and about the punching incident. My mom made me apologize to Kenneth (even though I really believed he deserved it) and off we went. My mom kept the ring in her purse and reminded me why she didn't want me to take it to school. My response to her was, "it wasn't my fault, the wind blew it off my finger" At the time, I thought that was a good enough story. It wasn't. When she eventually did give me my ring back I lost it again. It was gone for good. I have since been fixated with rose rings. Now, I have one, and even better, its adjustable.

Friday, December 25, 2009


Lazy Xmas day, no worries, just peace and contentment in his arms.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

sensory overload




egos clashing

graffiti restrooms

liquor flowing

numbing thoughts

people dancing

others stomping

ears ringing

heart pounding

flashes fired

friends reunite

mind drifting

far away

years from past

replay out loud

motion surrounding

eyes heavy

anticipating later

while patience fades

spinning further

into him.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Perfect day (and this time Im not being sarcastic)

So Julie turned me onto a new park. She kept raving about how beautiful it was, with a lake, ducks, little pathways, and even suggested Tom and I get married there. Tom and Steveo and I checked it out. Now normally, unless its overcast or raining, or really breezy, I just prefer to stay indoors, but today was extraordinarily beautiful. The weather was cool, breezy, not to sunny.

And YES, this is the perfect place for a wedding. ( Thanks Julie)

Insomnia again

The house is sound asleep, so why cant I be...

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Urban Landscapes

Drove for 2 hours, found beauty around every corner...