Friday, February 26, 2010

Running away for a day








Temecula is so beautiful, so quiet, so peaceful. I told Tom we should include in our wedding vows a promise to go to Temeula at least once a year. Its a good place to go to relax and re-charge. This time around we went to Old Town Temecula for dinner, it reminded me of Idyllwild, with its quaint little shops, there was a lot to see that we missed on our last trip.

Friday, February 19, 2010

things that make me smile









Tom my BFF, (how do you thank someone for being amazing)
Our doggy family (Pearl, Bellula, Charlie)
Roses (make my heart flutter in a good way)
Tom doing homework with Steveo, (the guy has infinite patience)
And hiking to Taquitz with Amy, (we had the best talk sitting on a rock, thanks Amy)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

new beginnings


After taking 3 days of "me time", I feel tired but refreshed at the same time if that makes any sense. I had some time to really clear my head, got a cool oxygen facial, went on the master cleanse, caught up on sleep, and came home to my cozy warm bed completely re-hydrated (from all the cool spa-like hydrotherapy) Its good to be home, and tomorrow will be the best Valentines Day ever!!!!!

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Gratitude part... I lost count.


I chose this picture for 2 reasons, my mom got me this necklace that says Nicholas, and Stephen. And this is a picture of the engagement ring from the love of my life. I have had a lot of sentimental gifts but I think these are the best of all.
In the last year, I have been re- connected somehow or another to EVERYONE that has touched my life. People I go way back with. My only regret is not seeing Sara. I miss her more than she will ever know, but I dont want this to be a sad and depressing post. Im just grateful to all the people who have enriched my life and taught me lessons. I have the best parents, the best kids, and a fiance that is so amazing beyond any words that can describe him. He has given me so much. So I guess what I am trying to say is thank you to all the people who have made my life beautiful.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Do I really want to be a nurse for the rest of my days?











Sometimes. Cant that just be my fall back? I treasure working with kids and taking care of people. That much I do know. I tend to have issues with western medicine in general, and that goes against what I feel healing should be. Again, in conflict with my beliefs and what I am required to do.
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Today I went through the garage and found Sam's old camera bag. Played with his many lens filters. I wish he were here to at least give me some pointers. He was such a creative being, a true artist, in everything he did. I admire him for at least knowing what it was he wanted to do career wise in life. So today, I played with his filters, got creative, decided to make my own lens filters for my camera from random objects lying around the house. The results were interesting, I am very pleased.
I may never be a paid full time photographer, which in the end would probably compromise any artistic expression in the first place when you are paid to shoot what "they" are paying you to shoot, thus leaving me to never want to pick up a camera again. Dont want that. So its better this way. Through the lens I have trained my eyes to see things differently. You notice the vibrancy in nature, the shadows cast by warm light when the sun goes down, the movement and flow of the leaves when there is the slightest breeze, the perfection of everyday. Soon, when you are not looking through the view finder, you still have the ability to see things in a series of images, without effort. I guess its just another way of not taking life for granted. For magnifying lifes beauty, and I cant think of anything more powerful then that.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Beautiful Indio Blvd




I wonder which one Jimmy Swaggart was busted with the prostitute in.

Say hello to my little friend





This is my "Sancho"
The whole point in being a home owner in the desert was to provide stability for the boys, and I could be close to my stable, wonderful job at JFK, and its less expensive then San Clemente. I feel bad, like I coerced Tom into buying down here. Its not as if I could have predicted the economy going to shit, and me being layed off. Well 3.5 years later, he still cant find a job down here. So, Mon thru Thursday, he is in Orange County and I am here all by my lonesome.
My insomnia is worse when he's gone. He's like my security blanket (my other one)
So, in a desperate attempt to fall asleep, I put one of his shirts (not washed, that would defeat the purpose) over my body pillow. So now I can cuddle next to him, smell him, AND Charlie doesnt even get jealous. I have to say it makes me feel needy and pathetic and almost co-dependent. Ive always walked the fine line of co-dependency, but this time its different. Its a pillow, a pillow that smells like Tom and gave me the best nights sleep.