Monday, October 26, 2009
This warms my heart. He is so good with babies... But I am relieved he is happy to just raise my 2 boys as if they are his own. Im lucky. I will never take him for granted. Still there are those moments like these when I see him with a baby and I wonder what it would be like.
So instead, we will be getting a puppy. A "Frenchton" to be exact. I want to name him Rampage, Tom wants to name him Bodhi. So I will put my fixation with UFC aside. Bodhi it is. I will post pics when we get him.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
And as I lay here with my head phones on, I realize "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendricks is the best love song ever,( well its up there with Venus In Furs) Love ALWAYS leads to tragedy in the end, no matter how you look at it. One of us is going to die before the other.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Nick has been doing so good in school so far, so I decided to reward him. He wanted his friend to comeover for a sleepover so they could play xbox all night. So to protect the guilty, lets just call his friend "mustache boy". (yea, ummm the kid looks like he's 17 or 18 in my opinion) So mustache boy doesnt answer his phone. Nick decides to invite his other friend, who I have never had a good vibe around, lets just call him "giant insecure bully" or maybe G.I.B for short. So I figure, no big deal, they will be in his room all night playing xbox, why not. So G.I.B arrives and they immediately start punching each other in the living room. And, let me just say, Nick is small for his age, and G.I.B, is big and has been lifting weights since 6th grade ( he told me his dad makes him lift weights everyday) So I really dont know if Nick does this to prove he isnt a wimp or if G.I.B provokes this type of behavior. By the way, Nick also comes home from school with bruises quite often and last week got kicked in the back and missed a day of school. So this goes on at school as well. Anyway, so they chase each other, they end up in the back yard and I can hear them pounding each other. I tell them repeatedly to stop. Charlie, our already nervouse bipolar dog is going crazy with them running around. By this time, Tom is already annoyed, and he has told them several times to knock it off. Then we order pizza. Wow, G.I.B and Nick eat A LOT!!!! After that they decide to call Mustache boy. This time he answers. I tell Nick its okay if he comes over to. So I give directions to his oh so friendly step mom, and in 5 minutes flat, the doorbell rings. I answer the door and notice, oh so friendly step-mom drove off without even seeing him in. Okay, maybe thats not a big deal, but if it were me, I would wait to a least make sure someone answers the door, but thats just me.
So now the fighting really begins. It sounds like an earthquake is shaking our house. I tell them over and over to STOP. Tom tells them over and over to stop. Finally, there is silence. So without really thinking much about it, we close our door and start watching t.v. Then Tom suggests, we check on them because it is PRETTY QUIET out there. So when I come out of my room, I notice G.I.B, and Mustache Boy playing the xbox. G.I.B always seems to have a guilty look on his face, like he just robbed a bank or something, maybe this is why I get such negative vibes from him. Anyway, I notice Nicks door is open, the light is off. I enter his room, he is laying in the fetal position, on his bed in his dark room. I cant see him that well because its dark, but the hall light is on and I can see that his right eye is swollen. He looks scared. I asked him what happend. He said "nothing, Im just tired" Im sure he's saying that because G.I.B and Mustache Boy are within hearing distance listening to us. I close the door and ask him (whispering) what happend, why does it look like you were crying? What did they do? Why is your eye swollen? Why are you in here by yourself in the dark? Still the same answer, "nothing mom, Im just tired" Well its OBVIOUS that something happend.
I go back to my room and tell Tom whats going on. Tom, who, like I said earlier, was already annoyed with the situation, went into Nicks room and tried to get him to talk. Nothing. So I wait a few minutes, G.I.B and Mustache Boy are still playing the xbox in the living room, and I go back into Nicks room, shut the door and this time beg him to tell me. I promised not to embarrass him and make a scene and go off on his friends, and pleaded with him to please just tell me what happend. Finally, he tells me, "one of them" turned off the light in his room, and when it was pitch black, "one of them" picked him up and threw him and his head slammed into his computer. Now every part of me wanted to go out there and confront them. (In a very Violent way) but I promised Nick I wouldnt do anything he didnt want me to do. He told me he just wanted to be alone, and would be fine. I then go back to my room and tell Tom what I know. Tom, like me, wants to hurt them. At this point, we arent sure what to do. It took so much for Nick to trust me and tell me what happend, but how can I let these assholes get away with this. And WHY is it Nick has a hard time telling me these things? So now I wonder, do they pick on Nick because he is little? Did they just come over for the xbox and pizza? Did they plan on jumping him the whole time? And why would Nick allow someone to do this to him? Why would he defend these people and still consider them "friends"? Is this normal? Do boys just fight like that? Am I over reacting here? My son's head got slammed into his computer!!!!!!!!
I remember when Nick would tell me everything. I remember communication was never a problem for us. I feel this disconnect that is growing more and more intense as time goes on, and it hurts me. It hurts me so much that it manifests itself into physical pain. My stomach hurts when I think about this. Does this happen to all parents of teenagers? Am I doing something wrong? I just want it to be like it used to be. Easy.
The one thing I do know for sure is, G.I.B and Mustache boy are NOT welcome in this house again.