Friday, December 25, 2009

love


















Lazy Xmas day, no worries, just peace and contentment in his arms.



Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Urban Landscapes














Drove for 2 hours, found beauty around every corner...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving, exploring spaces








The drive to Phoenix wasnt bad, the boys didnt fight, we all just listened to music and enjoyed the ride. Toms grandmas house felt like home, she is a typical grandma, cozy, sweet, warm. His family treats the boys well. We are family now, I have to keep reminding myself. I have a tendency to resist new relationships, and not allow people inside my life so easily. It feels good to let my guard down and relax. His family is now my family, and they have welcomed us with open arms.
Steveo and I went for a walk, stumbled upon a little church, the light hit it perfectly, I took a few pictures of it and thought about how in other states there are little churches like this on every corner. Not so much in California. Im happy I got to spend time in Arizona and see where Tom grew up.

Monday, November 23, 2009

First and last day of Volunteering at The Animal Shelter




So it was a nice thought, but in reality, I am allergic to dogs and cats. I did think of that before I started. I just imagined I would be outside in the fresh air with all these dogs running around, playing catch, petting them all, being sure to give equal amounts of attention to each one, just giving them all I had for approximately 2-3 hours max.
What REALLY happened, was this:
1) Get all the dogs outside (this is what they do first when they open) sounds easy, but not all of them want to go outside so they hide and you try to entice them with treats to get them out. This process took about 20 minutes.
2) Get all the newspaper that they lay on the bottom of each kennel, and throw it away. (most of the newspaper was wet with urine)
3) Take all the towels from each kennel that have poop on it and throw it in the washer. ( that was pretty much all the towels)
4) Scrape all the poop that DIDN'T land on the towel or newspaper off of the bottom of the kennel. (that's when things started to sink in, this is not what I had in mind)
5) Sweep all the dog and cat rooms and prepare to mop. (this is where my asthma started to kick in and my eye was beginning to itch)
6) After not really sweeping that much, I grab a mop and start mopping, 15 minutes of mopping and depriving myself of the necessary amount of oxygen, I start to plan my escape.
7) While the owner was talking on the phone I tell her Im done mopping and feel a little sick but will come back next Friday and thank her as I grab my purse and walk out the door, ( Not sure why I thanked her or why I told her I would be back next Friday)
So on the drive home, I look in the mirror, lots of red hives, eye swollen shut, hit my inhaler a few times, go home, take a Benadryl, take a bath, and try to forget the whole thing happened.
Fast forward to Sunday, In the urgent care, still cant breathe, on steroids. Poor Tom had to shell out 170$ total, and deal with my attitude (I'm a bitch when I cant breathe) So today, I can breathe much better, have 6 more days of steroids, and am already dealing with the side effects (puffy face, insomnia, sweating, increased appetite)
So now Im just going to take it easy and just love the animals in my immediate family.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Puppies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






So we didnt get our Frenchton (long story, dont want to talk about it) but I did get the next best thing... A puppy/best buddy for my parents puppy Paco. My mom and I picked him out from the Coachella Animal Rescue. We fell in love with his relaxed demeanor and ability to snuggle right into your neck. We love him. His name is Jaxson (yes Im spelling it that way)he was actually named by the owner of the shelter since he was found on Jackon St. I wish I could rescue them all. Im such an animal lover, and this little guy just stole my heart.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

Inspirational photograph ( I took this on Olvera St)



When Im alone and have no distractions, I view the world in a series of images. When I stop and look around, I see the beauty in everything, and everyone, and these little moment of silences that I live for, drown out all the bad and gives me a glimpse into a better world not so far out of reach.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Babies Vs Puppies




This warms my heart. He is so good with babies... But I am relieved he is happy to just raise my 2 boys as if they are his own. Im lucky. I will never take him for granted. Still there are those moments like these when I see him with a baby and I wonder what it would be like.
So instead, we will be getting a puppy. A "Frenchton" to be exact. I want to name him Rampage, Tom wants to name him Bodhi. So I will put my fixation with UFC aside. Bodhi it is. I will post pics when we get him.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Creepy Beautiful




And as I lay here with my head phones on, I realize "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendricks is the best love song ever,( well its up there with Venus In Furs) Love ALWAYS leads to tragedy in the end, no matter how you look at it. One of us is going to die before the other.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Culture Shock





Its nice to be out of your element once in a while. I had the pleasure of going to Toms cousins Vietnamese wedding. It was in Little Saigon in Westminster. There were so many people there. I met a lot of Toms family on his moms side. Everyone was very friendly, we all drank lots of wine. The bride looked beautiful, and the entainment, was, ummm, well entertaining. Supposedly, one of the singers is very famous in Vietnam. I took a picture, but due to my excessive alcohol intake, its a tad blurry. I didnt want to insult anyone, so I ate the Jellyfish, and the "thousand year old egg" and the fried scallops and everything else slimy that comes from the ocean. I cant stand slimy textures, so I was forced to down it with tons of red wine. After we left I was happy I went. I would love to take the kids next time to something like this to allow them to see other cultures, and to see where Tom comes from.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Running to the trees


I was going through pictures from Nashville, and I remember this road. It was so isolated and peaceful. Tom and I, along with my grandma found it, and we stopped and got out of the car. I could have spent the whole day there, I have never been so overwhelmed by such beauty before. I never realized I was such a nature girl until I got out of the desert. Maybe I will go back there one day. Maybe the Northwest will be even better, I hope someday I can get there, perhaps even move there...

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Temecula, who knew....







We needed a romantic getaway. I have been with my soul-mate for 3 years now, and it keeps getting better. I love him and had such a wonderful, unforgetable weekend!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

our bedroom has new floors


AWWWWW WE GOT OUR ZEN BEDROOM AT LAST.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

My favorite photo from Idyllwild this weekend

So the water was all sorts of disgusting, but with my magic camera (thanks Tom) It looks as if we stumbled onto a peaceful pond with fairies and gnomes and so many other beautiful creatures. In reality, it was foul and Nick was fixated on the tiny parasitic creatures swimming around. My son, the future entomologist... Go Nick!!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

I can still feel him.

Sometimes when I visit him, Im okay. Other times it hits me like a ton of bricks. I still cannot believe he's gone. It all happend so fast, in an instant our lives changed forever. Today, I went to the cemetery with red roses, just like the ones he would bring me. This time, there were 2 bunnies right by his grave. I tried to walk slowly and quietly as to not scare them away, I got a picture of them. It almost looks like they were kissing.


Then came the dragonflys. I tried to tell Julie about them, I told her how they are usually swarming around his grave and this time was no different. I would like to believe it is Sams way of saying hello. His way of proving to me he IS still here. I may not see him, but sometimes I feel him. I feel him watching over us. I know he is proud of his son, and I hope that when its my turn to go, he is waiting for me.





Wednesday, May 06, 2009

May 6th

So I didnt go to the cemetery, I bought him some flowers, and invited Nick to come with me this time. He declined. And Im ok with that. I dont want this to be a day where we wallow and cry. Its been 12 years. Nick knows who his father was by all the stories I have told him. He doesnt have any recollection of him, only pictures and a few videos we had converted to DVD for him. Tonight, I want to watch them again. If Nick wants to, he is more than welcome to watch with me. Either way, Im not going to wallow in pity.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Gram time

I dont know how she does it, but her presence alone makes me calm. She is the epitome of class. I love my Gram. I can turn to her for anything and she listens with patience and always has the right words. Oh and she is beautiful. Her eyes sparkle when she smiles, and at 80 something years young, she still has a youthful glow about her. She is one of a kind.