Thursday, August 26, 2010

Tamarack Beach Resort Carlsbad, California

On the computer in the massive bedroom.

The hallway and Steveo reminds me of The Shining, all he needs is a big hotwheels and a creepy voice that says Redrum...

View from our balcony.

My Grams timeshare has so many memories. I have been coming here since I was a little girl. I would swim in the pool for hours like a fish. Play ping-pong in the Rec room and check out Video tapes to watch. One year Elizabeth and I were here, cant remember what we did though. I remember Jeremy Tysor, Emily Kanoski, Quico, my sister, Tom, and James all spending time up here. Then Sam and I stayed here alone one year, we drank wine, dropped acid and walked down to the beach where he got down on one knee and proposed. One of the most beautiful magical moments of my life. Sean came with me one time and we fought, and then made up, fought some more. Now I come here with my family, Steveo spends hours in the pool, we play ping-pong, check out DVD's, sit on the balcony and have enlightening conversations, repeating the cycle once again. With this being our last week of freedom until school I hope to make it exciting and all sorts of good for my boy. (oh yeah, Nick said he wanted to spend his last days of freedom with friends playing video games) I get it, I respect his wishes, but still wish he was here.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Me, a full moon, and my thoughts.

Looking at the desert from up high. The wind was loud, the moon full and bright, cant help but feel pure peace and joy. That was my moment of zen. Its been so hot lately. I feel like I'm suffocating, not just in the physical sense, but mentally, I feel like I just need to break free. Free from what? No clue. I'm used to running away. Maybe my subconscious mind is at odds with my contentment with life. Maybe this is how life SHOULD feel. When you thrive on chaos for so many years, you forget what it feels like to have calm. You have to adjust to a new sense of safety, and resist the urge to self sabotage. I have a love/hate relationship with life in the summertime. My moods are ultra sensitive to weather. Fall is just around the corner, and winter is my favorite. I have so much to look forward to. I just need to keep it all in perspective.
Ive been staying up late painting, writing in my journal, reading the Tibetan Book Of The Dead, staying busy, staying creative to pass the time of our last week of freedom before school starts. Time to get back into the routine, of earlier bedtimes, homework battles, and adjustments to high school. Where did the time go. My Nick is already starting high school and I get butterflies just thinking about it. I want to hold his hand and do it for him. Letting go of a little more control and letting his independence shine through terrifies me. Its just when you think they need you the most you are forced to stand back and let them be. I am so proud of my boys and who they are becoming. This is such an incredible time. I want to be present. I want to enjoy each moment and not take it for granted. I will aim to focus on the now and put my worrying aside in an effort to be a better mom for my boys.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Mission San Juan Capistrano

Im really starting to favor Bobs house to ours. Nice weather, ocean view, cool shops downtown, The Mission. Just so much to do. Steveo and I went to the Mission in San Juan Capistrano, just 10 minutes from here. To me it was beautiful, and exciting. I love old buildings, they all feel haunted, but in a good way, kind of like cemeteries. Steveo was bored after the first 10 minutes but he made friends with a fish. They locked eyes and stared at each other for a while. Maybe I can go back alone and spend more time there. I do love my alone time to explore.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Yucca Valley Drive

Around 7:30 this morning. It was hot, humid, but the cloud formations were pretty enough to make me forget the crappy weather.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Painting with light

I had fun with my camera and pink Xmas lights. The picture with Tom shows Chance lying next to him, but you have to look closely at the photo on the bottom left. He has a transparent ghostly appearance.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Long Exposures with my new camera

I love grimy old buildings with lots of lights. Indio Blvd is a good place to get good shots. Out of the 50 plus pics I took, I only got a few that didn't blur. Here they are. I love my new camera!!!!!

Friday, August 06, 2010

Bobs house

flowers, so pretty

new dress


Finished chair

new coat of paint

old seat cushion, ewww
Nick got bored up here so he's staying with the grandparents. Steveo and I are working on the house, going for walks downtown to get ice cream and today we drove to Chinatown in L.A. Its only an hour drive from here. I bought a new dress, a parasol, Steveo got Dragonball Z figurines and we got Lychee's, (weird Asian fruit) We got home and I finished up a project I had been working on. I took a table and chairs and reupholstered the seats and added a new coat of paint. I figured with the weather being so perfect, we could eat on the porch. For the first time Steveo and I were able to pick flowers from Bobs garden and put them in water. I love how everything grows out here.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Tree Hugger

How ironic that Im such a tree hugger/lover, but live in the desert where we have NO trees. Palm trees dont count, there like the diet tree, or the anti-tree tree. Anyway, went to the Redlands cemetery to sit under the prettiest one there and felt the cool breezes. I could have taken a nap if it werent for the ants killing my nature high.

Monday, August 02, 2010

New toy

Oh yeah, been drooling over her for some time. My new Canon EOS XSI. Me loves her. I took her out today to shoot the boys and even got some good action shots. There will be more to come.