Thursday, May 26, 2011

I miss writing letters

he also makes a great paper weight.

Since the 6th grade me and Elizabeth have exchanged tons of letters. I miss her and when shes upset, I get upset. Unfortunately, living in separate states has made our visits less often but so enjoyable. I decided to hand make her a card with images that in someway or another remind me of her. All I can do is send good energy her way.

Monday, May 23, 2011


I am a perpetual animal lover. I love this dog. He doesn't replace my Charlie, but his cuteness has cast a spell on me. I'm convinced he loves Tom more than me. He will love me soon when the Stockholm Syndrome takes effect.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My favorite pictures

Thats Nick, then my mom, and Steveo on the bottom

some of my favorite photographs were accidental

My love (translation)

beautiful reflections
Im falling in love with taking pictures again.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

To much at once

These are pictures I took  near the schools I am working at.

I have seen these boys grow up.
This was taken near the paintball field in Lake Elsinore
Oh my Charlie, I hope you are in heaven with Sam and Mokey-kitty

Im overwhelmed. May is always bitter sweet. My Sam died May 6th 1997, same days as his best friends birthday, 3 days before Nick turned one. 1997 sucked!!!!! Anyhow, these days I am working hard and giving 120% to an 8 year old girl that I am a nurse for 3 days a week. She is trach dependent, and unable to walk, and a whole list of other things I would rather not get into. She has stolen my heart with her sweetness. I adore her and her beautiful family. With every challenge she has faced, my life's so called "problems" seem so tiny in comparison. Working with her has put things into perspective for me. I hug my boys, and I am so grateful for all we have. I admire her strength and feel like this job was meant for me. I just wanted a job where I would be needed and could help out the most and I got it. The universe works in mysterious ways I guess.
On top of that, I am now working with the school district in Palm Springs as a nurse to the diabetic students. FIRST GRADE DIABETICS!!!!!  This is new territory for me, but I welcome it. Any opportunity to learn more is a blessing. So yeah, I hug my boys tight and tell them how lucky we are and how good we have it.
I am so tied up with my work lately that I feel extreme guilt for caring for kids that aren't mine. This weekend, in celebration of Nicks 15th birthday, we continued the paintball tradition. This time I was brave enough to take 4 teenagers along for the road trip. I'll sum it up, music such as: Disturbed, Skillet, Avenge Sevenfold, and a few others were blasting. I said nothing. Why? Because I overheard Nick tell his friends, "my moms cool we can listen to whatever man as loud as we want" So I could careless what his friends thought of me, but to Nick, I'm cool. So they blasted there music and I smiled, so much that it hurt my cheeks. I'm cool like that. They had a blast and I went to bed so exhausted.
Charlie, my loyal dog died, and I have such a hard time even thinking about it or looking at pictures of him. My heart aches for him. Steveo being the sweet little man he is, tried so hard to make me feel better. He also painted the most beautiful picture of flowers ever. I framed it and put it up in the living room. I smile when I see it. I love my boys, and all the kids in my life that I didn't give birth to but still have a closeness to.

Friday, May 06, 2011

14 years gone

Journal therapy, what would I do without my journal.