Monday, August 29, 2011

How many times can I start over?

I googled that and this is what it led to.

I guess Im not the only one in a messed up state of mind today. Good to know, because misery Does love company.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Exploring Dana Point

Maybe it was pregnant, even though this squirrel did not look hungry, we gave him/her pieces of an energy bar.

Somewhere in Dana Point their is a squirrel bouncing around high on energy bars.

Our special family picture.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Profoundly UnBuddhist Rant Part tres

He and I stared at each other for a few minutes then he went back in his little hole. He was cute.

The cemetery where I hung out until the sun came up. (I believe this was the safest place, who would mess with you at a cemetery?)

Beautiful church by the cemetery.

I walked for a long time, (6 hours) my feet ached, I needed to just sit and relax and drink tons of water. My plan was to get my stuff from the hotel, unfortunately Christine left my suitcase at the front desk and changed her hotel room so I could not see her. I had no idea I could be this tired, thirsty, and angry. I rested on the lawn of the hotel, grabbed only what I needed and left my suitcase on the lawn (it was to heavy to walk with and my cell phone was dead, I was broke, I was planning on hitching a ride to Starbucks which was 2 miles away.) I put my belongings in my backpack and headed back up the road, Furious.)

I LOVED this suitcase, oh well...

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.... I still have no explanation for why she would call 911 and have the police look for me and BRING ME BACK TO HER? (glad I took a pic, hopefully this will be the only time I ride in the back of a police car)

After that incident, she left for the airport that night. I left the next day, exhausted, angry, and confused. I have no desire to speak to her. I cant even say right now that I will ever allow her back in my life, she has brought nothing but stress and chaos to my life for the last few years. All I know is I'm done with toxic people. My anger has softened slightly, but I still want nothing to do with ANYONE that brings pain and negativity in my life or the lives of my children.

Even though I had an awful experience, I still love Maui. I love the way of life, the scenery, and the best part is the people. They are so sincere and happy. This guy "George of the sea" was my shuttle driver that showed me around and dropped me off at the airport. We had the best conversation, and he was just one of many people who I met that were so wonderful and friendly. I can truthfully say, I have NO regrets.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Profoundly UnBuddhist Rant Part Dos

"The island will keep you if it wants you, The island will spit you back out if not"
- This guy that came up to me while I was sitting under a tree at the airport waiting to catch my flight back.

I had a lot of hours to kill at the airport so I sat under a tree journaling.

So this is downtown Lahaina. After an argument with my sister on the way to Black rock, I made my way here. By the way, Black rock was easy to find and so pretty.

This is Black rock, I listened to music, swam and layed out on the black rocks and thought about where I was going to stay the night since Christine and I were no longer on speaking terms and she was already back in Kiehei (very south) from where I was.

I had a few dilemma's. My cell phone charger was in the hotel room along with all my clothes, laptop, and I had about 35 bucks on me. So without going into all the details I will just show off my pics.

Dinner on a budget.

This is where I stayed. A "sober living" house that was 10 bucks to sleep outside on a couch. (sober living, it was not)

I stayed the night here. I left around 2 in the morning because I heard a fight with dishes crashing, I decided since I couldnt sleep after that I might as well try to make my way back to the hotel. I sat in a little cemetery til the sun came up then I took a bus to the next city Waaliea, then walked to Kiehei. I had no idea it would take me almost 6 hours to walk there.

By the way, I forgot to mention during all the chaos of being a homeless woman, I ran into Steveos 3rd grade teacher.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Profoundly UnBuddhist Rant Part 1

OH MY God!!!!! Look how beautiful Maui is. Totally worth the consequences of leaving on a whim, being completely broke, and not even properly packing due to the late notice. Oh well, Its Maui, a Free trip to Maui with my ummmm friend. To protect her identity, we will call her Christine.

Look how adorable this couple is. I hope that's me and Tom some day.

Awwww, even the dogs are happy to be here.

Okay, so I don't know these people but I had to photograph them anyway. She looked stunning, he looked a little scared.
Totally normal.

Wow we just witnessed a beautiful moment, I'm so happy. Hey Christine is it okay if we go back to the hotel you paid for? We should get a good nights sleep so we can see the giant Buddha statue I was telling you about, and then we can even snorkel where the cute little turtles are.

I'm so glad I could show you this Buddha statue. It is so amazing, and I love the trees surrounding it, there are pretty yellow flowers hanging off of them.

Picture time! Sometimes I wonder if her parents resent still having to payoff the thousands of dollars worth of student loans she racked up because "she had to go the the best most expensive private school to get her photography education" at. (only not to be a photographer)

This lady radiated sweetness. Pure. Genuine. Sweetness. Out of the blue, she came out from the little house on the Buddha property, to give Christine and I a flower from the tree.

Happy beautiful moment. Cant wait to see the turtles at Black Rock, this super beautiful area not known to be very crowded and perfect for beginner snorkelers just like us.

One last picture before we head out to Black Rock. The water was crystal clear and warm. I could not stop smiling.

What happened next can only be described as a complete cluster-fuck-disaster-of a mess that hit me like a ton of bricks. This is where I have difficulty. On the one hand, I want to take the high road. I don't mean to bad mouth Christine, it doesn't help the situation. I am still processing, obsessing, and accepting what happened. So, on the other hand, I have never felt so betrayed and hurt by someone I love. (well not to this extent) I can only hope time will ease the anger I have toward her. I dont want to feel hatred. Ever, but in all honesty, I dont know how I will ever forgive her for what she did. I cannot imagine where to even start to put the pieces together.
I am so glad that I had my camera and my journal in my purse. After I upload the pics from my phone I will post them and continue.