So I didnt go to the cemetery, I bought him some flowers, and invited Nick to come with me this time. He declined. And Im ok with that. I dont want this to be a day where we wallow and cry. Its been 12 years. Nick knows who his father was by all the stories I have told him. He doesnt have any recollection of him, only pictures and a few videos we had converted to DVD for him. Tonight, I want to watch them again. If Nick wants to, he is more than welcome to watch with me. Either way, Im not going to wallow in pity.